So much for using the cane

I took Troy out to do some work after taking him to the toilet nearly half an hour ago. He stopped halfway along a street so I took him back home again. When he didn’t go, I sent him inside and used my cane. I tried to find the corner where me and Troy cross, but ended up walking along some street which I didn’t know what it was! I thought that anyone who thinks that a cane stops a totally blind person from getting disoriented is on the beaten track. A guide dog is more likely going to find the exact street crossing points, curbs etc and follow directions that they can see. When I use the cane, I try to do that and think I’m going in a straight direction or something, only to find out that I was going crokked or too early or late after the street corner! By then it’s already too late and I get completely lost and can’t see my familiar landmarks behind me! When I’ve ever gotten lost with Troy, I tell him to find his way back and of course he looks for his most familiar landmarks and takes me back there. When I’m were he has been before, I turn around and find myself getting oriented again, and after retracking what I did wrong in my mind I find I can tell Troy to turn left, right or go straight instead of whichever other direction I took. With the cane, once I’ve gotten lost and disoriented, by the time I actually find my way back to my first destination point by exploration, I’ve gotten so lost as to how I’d gotten lost because of not working out quick enough where my mistake was made that by the time I’m at my familiar destination point I can’t remember how I’m supposed to correct it! With Troy I tell him to do things and he does them, then when I get disoriented and tell him to find his first destination point, I visualise what I’ve said to him and am able to correct my mistake, because I haven’t had to spend so much time trying to work out how to get back to where I know. I find that disorientation stops me from being able to remember which steps I took to where I intended to go. Troy prevents that problem.

I’m angry with my Guide Dogs instructors now. They all tell me that using my cane is a good idea. Well, it’s not a good idea when I get disoriented and can’t retrack my steps back to my exact original location is it! Then when I stuff that up because of accidentally walking crooked, then I get even more disoriented! Now the cycle goes around and around until I eventually get to my original location but without succeeding any further in getting my way to an intended destination. So much for being able to orientate myself with a cane when I can’t see objects or other landmarks for points of reference! The dog does that for me. Or a human guide. And when I’ve got the cane, guess who should help? Any human who can be a good guide! Well, I’d rather use my guide dog thank you! Not that humans aren’t good, but I’ve had to depend on them all my life, and I don’t think my guide dog and O and M instructors really appreciate that. They don’t understand my situation. I do agree that I should be able to use the cane safely and I should know how to get somewhere correctly and have an idea of directions, which I do. However, when it comes to using the cane to get to the correct street crossing, street corner, footpath etc, it just doesn’t work. I know where I want to go and how to get there, but the cane doesn’t give me the exact track to walk on so I can meet Point B on the other side of the road, or the Point B ten steps in front of me. I hope people know what I mean. With Troy he can walk to certain points on the coordinate grid, but with my cane I don’t even realise that I’ve veered, or have stopped too early on the grid or anything. The only way for me to know such detail would be if the streets had square corners or the crossings I needed to cross with the cane had tactile markings on it. With Troy I don’t need that unless it’s at a bus stop, busy streets or roads with traffic lights. The cane is just an extention of my hand. I can feel with my hands, but I guarantee I’d get just as lost! So using a dog guide or human guide really makes me 95% oriented to the environment around me 95% of the time! I like the dog guides better though! I did tell my friend that I really don’t want some people to walk this earth for what they tell me about the use of the cane. I suppose I don’t, but then if they’re not here they can’t teach little kids how to use canes or guide dogs. What the instructors don’t understand is that when I had the cane I was still a lot more disoriented than with a working guide. I could get around safely and could listen to the traffic, but I couldn’t match the coordinates of the grid as well as with a working guide. So now after this ranting and whinging, I’m going to take Troy to the toilet and then for a nice walk. I hope I can, if the rain doesn’t come back halfway along the street!

I’m glad to hear people like my blog!

I’m staying home for most of today before going out this afternoon. I hate staying home even for one whole day now. So I’m going to blog for a while before checking on Troy. He has eaten a lamb shank for over an hour now and hopefully he’ll have completely eaten it by the time I finish this post. I read a comment which
Tori
wrote on
this post
and found it really encouraging! I hope people come up with more suggestions and any other feedback they wish to give. I’m glad to hear that this blog is really good for people to read. I found that getting help to make my blog better was worth it. However, to help me make this blog even better, I need more suggestions… otherwise this blog will be nothing but posts as though not many people are reading it! lol I’m not meaning to force people to comment, I’m one of those people who read blogs but only comment sometimes too, and I have found that quite a few people read this blog, but I guess that if I’ve made this blog public whether people are reading it or not I can’t really just write it as though people won’t give feedback or suggestions, just in case someone is reading. I feel sorry for bloggers who write that nobody is reading it when in fact I am lol! And on most posts there is no feedback, no comments or anything. And they’re probably thinking on similar lines like me, that it doesn’t matter all the time if people don’t comment or read it, because the blog is about them and expressing their feelings, but then when they or me asks questions which really need answers that they might not get from family or friends, then I suppose that if possible, giving feedback would be a nice idea. At the end of the day the blog is about the person writing it too. So it’s again subject to interpretation… lol! Oh well, keep up with the nice blogs all you bloggers out there! And please keep giving feedback and other comments if you wish and whenever you can… I’m not the type who just rejects any comment! Unless of course it’s abusive, profane, or nasty… or all three.

I snuggled with Troy for nearly an hour this morning before giving him his bone. After I do this blog post I’m going to laze around for a while before going to a shopping centre. I don’t know what else I’ll do then. Poor Troy hates lying around with nothing to do. Tomorrow I’ll be going to Casuarina for the day. First it’s to the university to enroll in more subjects for the next Semester, then some time on the Internet. Then me and Shirley will have lunch at the cafateria, then we’ll go to the big shopping centre. we’re trying to make a sign for Troy’s harness. I don’t know how it’ll work out though. The slogan says “Danger: I’m working, don’t distract me.” The danger refers to me because patting or talking to a guide dog while it’s in harness stuffs up it’s training and makes the dog’s work ineffective and puts the handler and dog in a dangerous situation. It brings me back to my point that besides people not understanding us, it’s not excuseable enough if something were to happen to me and Troy just because of some careless, thoughtless person! They’ll understand if Troy accidentally got me run over because he wanted to say hellow to someone waving at him. They’ll bloody understand if I die because he wanted to get petted by a passers-by and I fall into a pot-hole or something like that! How about the people who totally disregard my request to stop interfering with Troy while he’s working and treat me like I’m a blindy who’s overreacting? They’ll bloody f***ing understand when they find out something has happened to Troy because of their blatant, careless ways of treating Troy like a pet, only to find that they cause him to make a mistake which harms him! The next thing that will happen to the person who then says that Troy’s only a dog and it wasn’t his fault after all that will be a f***ing lengthy jail term! How will that be for them? Now, I know I live in Australia, but any court judge here who has the situations with guide dogs explained to them will come to their senses in all this and say in big capital letters: “DON’T INTERACT WITH THE DOG OR PAT THE DOG WHILE IT’S WORKING!” I bet if I interupted Bruce my church Pastor while he was doing paperwork, then told him to just get over it and he’s a person like me so no worries, he’ll be right, I bet there’ll be an outcry! Stuff like how dare I distract a Pastor from his church duties or other jobs and so forth. Maybe I should tell him to tell his wife to interupt her job at any time just because she’s nice, sweet and friendly and he’s making a big deal out of letting her focus on her work! But apparently guide dogs are just f***ing pieces of sh*t! Is that bloody right? And they’re not trained at all are they! He and most of the world can just distract the dogs can’t they! Suddenly I can see and the dog has now got Super Man intelligence that can somehow just make him so perfect and so robotic! Well, there’s sad news for most of this world if they’re going to go into a Fairy Tale story like that. I’m whinging now, because you’ve guessed it, when Troy bumps me into Bruce while I’m walking near him, Bruce stupidly thinks then that Troy needs help to guide me! Well, he doesn’t ask “Do you want my arm?” He just says “Take my elbow. Come with me.” Well excuse me! First I’m blind who has a cane, and now I’ve got a guide dog and I’m an invalid! AND I’M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH IT ANYMORE! When I meet Bruce this Friday, I’m going to confront him when he acts on like he does. And I don’t care what he thinks or whether he leaves. I know my way around the shopping centre anyway, and he’s a selfish pig if he decides that I don’t want any help at all from him anymore. I never ever thought that, what I mean is that I want help when I need it and Troy isn’t stupid and untrained. Bruce will have it coming to him if he takes what I say out of all proportions. What it sounds like is a selfish pig in the making, someone who only cares about how they want to help people the way he wants to help people to suit himself. I thought he was nice. I’m hoping to God I’m right, I don’t want any of this to be true, because if it is I’m going to tell him straight out. I’m going to threaten legal action against him too. I’ll let him know that the police or someone of the sort will turn up the next time he distracts Troy deliberately for his own entertainment. He’s known me for three years now and Troy for two. And he’s got no excuses anymore. If Bruce blatantly disregards my safety by interfering with Troy’s work, I’m calling the police on him and Guide Dogs the next day. I’m sorry but not sorry. Bruce had chance after chance after chance to repent of his sin as Christians say it. But he’s non-repentent. Now I’m not ashamed if I have to say all this to him in front of the church. I’ve taken Biblical steps up to this last resort: the higher authorities. If Bruce wants to try and disprove that, he’s got a lot of explaining to do.

I had a good time this afternoon

I walked to the shopping centre this afternoon. It was quite hot, but not too hot that I couldn’t give Troy some good exercise. Justin was already there so I got there by 3:30 instead of 4 o’clock. Shirley arrived at 4 pm as planned, although she wished that we’d told her our updated plan! We said we’d do that next time, and she was ok with that. We discussed yesterday’s meeting and other stuff too.

I had two ice coffees. They were so lovely. During that time the subject of guide dogs and distractions by people interacting with them came up. Shirley and I are going to the Casuarina shopping centre on Tuesday afternoon to buy some material to create a sign to put over Troy’s harness. We’re going to write the word “danger” in big, bold letters and let the peoples’ imagine run wild! Hopefully the interaction should stop for good then, or at least 95 to 99% of the time. If Guide Dogs gets complaints about it then I’m going to ask them if they want Troy to be ruined as a guide dog? I don’t care what they think, I’m sick of Troy being petted. If Guide Dogs SA NT wanted the best for their guide dogs as they say, then they might allow people to put whatever they want on their signs so long as it’s not abusive and fowl! I understand all guide dogs from all organisations all over the world have trouble with being distracted by nosy people, but that’s not the point of my argument. Maybe guide dogs shouldn’t be portrayed as dangerous, because they’re friendly and we blind people don’t want others to get hurt if someone was trying to innocently help us! So of course getting a dog without aggression or which is under complete control will remove that risk. However, when a woman or man gets desperate, what are they supposed to do? Allow the dog to get ruined? Obviously not! The instructors can say “Well, keep doing what you’re doing with positive reinforcements like food and petting only as a reward for specific tasks to avoid the dog responding to unwanted attention and you’ll be all right”. Again, that’s not the point exactly. The point is, what if I and other blind people don’t notice what’s going on? What if we do and Joe Blow is too ignorant to listen to us? Shall we then accept it or be very rude if they won’t listen to our polite requests to stop patting or talking to the dog? Well, if not, then a sign is a good option. They might not read “Please don’t pat me, I’m working”, but they may read the word “danger”. How else am I supposed to get the message across? You can’t keep telling me, “Just be assertive, just do this, just do that, this and that… this and that. Tell so-and-so bla bla bla…” It simply doesn’t work! And I would be a nasty person if I were to speak rudely to people because they ignore politeness or other queues to be respectful towards me and my guide dog. So yes, this sign is my last resort. I could keep giving out cards, but people can rip them up too. They don’t have to read the cards as well, even though they should and it would be very helpful. So again, I prove my point and I make my case stronger.

I’m sure I’ve ranted a hell of a lot about this, but I really need people to be aware of this issue. I’ll prove my case to Guide Dogs too. They can’t expect me to put up with this like I do. I have a big enough job looking after Troy as it is. I love it, it really is a rewarding responsibility for me. But to add to it just makes it burdensome in the sense that Guide Dogs creates these dogs for VI and blind people; they need to be the educators of the public. They should know that we look after our dogs and they are our mobility aids while in harness, but we aren’t full-time educators either, although some of us may love to be in that roll! However, we’re just like everyone else; we can’t educate people twenty-four hours a day, just like other people can’t educate others 24-7 on their needs or whatever. Sometimes, we just need a break, and if the organisation provides services to us, they need to provide education as well because what we do, as rewarding as it is, sometimes is quite frustrating and very tiresome. So when we’re meeting hard times for any reason, we can’t be expected to just nicely pipe up at any whim of the public! Just because we use a service dog or other mobility aid doesn’t mean we’re magically cheerful all the time. We certainly try to be, but I don’t appreciate anybody putting me down or making me feel useless just because they don’t like our voice tone or how we look or act on certain days when they talk to us. Try being at the receiving end and you’ll understand! We may represent Guide Dogs, but we’re normal every-day people who live our own lives, we have friends, we have social networks, we go out for lunch, morning tea, coffee, we work, etc. We don’t need to take on extra responsibilities just because we have a disability. We’re not public servants, although some of us might be if we’re working somewhere like at a shopping centre or something like that. What I’m saying is, we’re not just public servants who are expected to have another full-time job just because of our disability! The organisations that help us are supposed to realise that people with disabilities want to be normal, they want their jobs, but they don’t want to be given extra duties that “normal” people don’t have to take on. I don’t want to make this a whining and whinging session, believe me. I just want people to be aware that we guide dog users and other service dog users or mobility aid users have enough responsibilities as it is without being forced to take on a job which our organisations are supposed to to do for us! If they want us to do some of their jobs besides our own life routines and our own jobs, then maybe we need to be offered specific periods of time e.g school outings, educational functions, etc, where we’d be more than happy to answer questions, remind others not to interact with our dogs, etc. That would be the most appropriate time for us to be educators don’t you think?

Ok, now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, I’m so much better! Thanks for listening readers and other disability assistants out there! I’m gladly waiting for any opinions on these issues. What do people think should be done to make it easier for them to cope with issues regarding their disability aids e.g. white cane, guide dog, service dog, wheelchair, etc? Do you think that organisations should do the educating so we can just be ourselves and live our own lives as usual? Or do you think we should educate too, with more help e.g someone from the organisations going to the work place, university, school etc, every so often? Or should we be able to educate people on a whim? Should there be a combination of all of these ideas? Please give suggestions and other ideas!

Test: checking if attachments can be uploaded from email to blog…

Hi everyone. I’m listening to a really good song. But… it’s a surprise! I’m going to check if this music file will upload onto the blog post if I attach it to an email and then send it. Happy blogging.

Another work day for Troy, and yesterday

Hi people. I went to casuarina yesterday. It was great. The disability forum was all right, a lot of complaints about taxi services. I won’t even use taxis at all. I find the buses reliable, and most drivers are lovely! There was a morning tea afterwards. The sandwiches and cakes were gorgeous! After that me and Shirley had Red Rooster for lunch.

The rest of the day we shopped around. We bought some USB drives and Shirley got some CD cleaner. We sat and drank a flakeshake for a while before deciding to get a bus home. We went back to Shirley’s place for a couple of hours before I left for home. The rain threatened to drop all afternoon but it never happened! I found that a good thing because Troy doesn’t like working in the rain. Who could blame him? At home Troy said hello to Mum and her friend, while Mum kept telling me what to dow ith Troy and making me leave him alone. I ignored her and secretly signalled Troy to come over to me and whispered for him to lie down. There’s no way Mum is going to tell me one minute that Troy can’t think like a human and doesn’t have the same feelings as we do, then the next minute decide that he would feel the same as us if I tell him what to do every five minutes! Sorry love! It’s none of your business what I do with Troy so long as I’m not breaking the law in any way, and you’re not going to attribute human feelings to Troy as an excuse to tell me what to do! Mum got over it after a while, and then I went inside with Troy so Mum could spend time with her friend.

Last night was just a lazy one. I sat at the computer a bit and got myself ready for bed. I had a lovely snuggle with Troy for nearly an hour! Then I crashed on my bed and woke up nice and cheerful this morning, thanks to Troy! We played hide-and-seek for a while. I’d get Troy to lay down somewhere, and I’d hide somewhere else, and I’d say “come!” once and Troy would run around, stopping and starting until he found me! He’s a funny dog. To finish the game, I made Troy lie at our clothes line outside, snuck into the room where I keep all my Braille books and sat on a spare bed. I told Troy to come only once, and then he ran inside, tracked me down and ate the remaining handful of his food! I let him lick my hands until they were all clean and we sat together for at least half an hour. I took him out to relieve and then cleaned up the kitchen before sitting on the lounge chair for a while before coming to this computer to read blogs and post this entry.

At 3 pm I’m leaving for a shopping centre and will meet Shirley and Justin at 4 pm. We’ll stay there for an hour; I can’t wait to get there so I can have a coffee and some sweets at Gloria Jeans! They’re much better than other coffee shops.

What a lazy day!

I ended up having a very, very very very lazy day today! Mum has been doing assignments and I sat around reading my Bible. I was going to drink coffee at Gloria Jeans this afternoon, but the bloody stupid weather was far too hot for me! Mum said it was nice walking to the shopping centre to get her car but really, I’m not interested. I find it too sweaty and poor Troy ends up panting lounder than the puffing of a steam train! So I’m just going to wait till tomorrow to go out.

I’m waking up at 6 am, or a bit earlier if I can. I’ll get Troy relieved and groom him until his coat is as thin as paper, because we’re going to Causarina for me to sit at a disability advisory forum! My friend Shirley is in a wheelchair and she became a member of that forum. So she’d going there for the first time as a member, and I’m going there to see if it would be a good thing for me to become a member so I can fully participate in helping out with disability access and other disability issues! I’m definitely not trying to copy-cat Shirley, but how would you go without sight, trying to get to somewhere where you haven’t learned how to get to on your own? So that’s where Shirley comes in. If I can get help and she and I are interested in most activities that I want to participate in, then I tag along with her. I can just as easily get an O and M instructor to teach me how to get to the meeting room in the library so I can go by myself, but I find new experiences more enjoyable if I can go along with someone I know already. And Troy is coming along with me! So I don’t want my guide dog looking out of sorts or even like he’s got some hair out of place for a very formal disability forum! The good thing is that I’ll be able to give opinions on public transport and how guide dogs are treated in that regard, and Troy will only highlight what I’m saying! So he might actually assist in stopping ignorant taxi drivers from being selfish pigs and being nasty to people with guide dogs and treating the dogs like they’re f***ing crap, which they’re not! I think some of the drivers are crap, they just shift the blame to guide dogs and handlers just so they don’t have to admit to being the problem. I find Asian people are the worst for guide dog access too. Yes, that’s my experiences with Troy. But they’re getting better too, probably because me and Troy are regulars in the public.

After the meeting I’m going to help Shirley buy a USB drive and some CD cleaner as well as eat a yummy lunch! We’re going to stay at the shopping centre all day long so then it won’t be a hot walk in the afternoon! And I’m not waiting to get a bus home either. I’m going to the bus depo and then walking home from there. It’s much more efficient, and Troy gets more strenuous exercise rather than just the mental work-out from being in harness all day. He’ll be sure to sleep well tomorrow night. I’m finished with this blog for now.

Best coffee shop ever

Hi readers, service dogs of all kinds, and pups! I went to Gloria Jeans yesterday afternoon, despite Shirley not being able to come along. I had a yummy Mocca with pouring cream and a banana tart! I sat there for quite a while after that, and then talked to Stacey. I decided to sit there for another fifteen minutes or so because my mobile phone went flat on me during our conversation. Then I left for home after buying a nice takeaway! I went to bed early and me and Troy had a good sleep! I’m currently cooking the takeaway for lunch, so I’m going to get going and check on it.

The blog email posts work!

Ok! I logged out of the blog and checked, and the posts are there! I’m gling to send this one now…

Shirley isn’t coming for coffee now

Well, it looks like I’ll be going to the shopping centre all by myself. That’s ok, I’ll just get what I want then. I’m still thinking of a coffee and something sweet, then I’ll buy something for dinner and take it back home. I haven’t eaten takeaways at home for ages! I’d love to go back to eating them at home like I used to when I was living at another place a few months ago. I like sitting in front of the TV while eating. It just means I don’t have to eat and then go back home after the meal. I was hoping to go to Shirley’s place first, but I don’t know if she’ll want me around or not. So I may as well just give that a miss. No offence to her, but I feel as though I’m more of a social butterfly than she is. I’m not saying she’s anti-social. She’s nothing of the sort. It’s just that I love going out at any time of the day and every single day as well. I only stay home because I have to.

I’m going to get going now. I’ll do some more blogging later.

Test post

I want to make sure this post will be sent to this blog. So I’m going to finish this sentence and then send the email!